


The Heart of a Star

by Hastilt



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Time Travel, Undeath
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:35:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28133283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hastilt/pseuds/Hastilt
Summary: Steven died, only his gem could be saved. Now he spends his time in regret, longing for his other half, wishing he could somehow undo all this…And a Diamond’s will is strong.---Steven enjoys a nice day with his new pink friend.
Relationships: Pink Steven Universe & Steven Universe
Comments: 45
Kudos: 175





	1. Chapter 1

Steven Universe was dead.

What remained of him was a body broken and warped beyond repair—they tried, oh stars they _tried_ —and thousands of pieces of diamond embedded on what used to be his stomach.

The difference between the diamond and the human body was a crucial one though—they had learnt to mend the shards of the shattered.

And so when the last piece clicked into place, blinding white light filled the room until it settled to a fainter pink glow.

The first thought that crossed his mind was regret.

\---

He was hiding.

The half Diamond couldn't stand being around them. Couldn't stand being like this, being without _him_. And it was his fault, his idea, his execution. And now his guilt.

He hugged himself smaller, staring off to the pink, cloudy expanse of his mother's room. It responded to his fragile, storming mind, whipping and stirring up the clouds as they turned to darker, flaring colors—almost matching the intensity of his own pink glow.

How could he face them after all that? The gems, his dad, his family and friends... He didn't belong here, only half of him. _Half of Steven_...

But he couldn't make himself disappear like that again.

No.

And so the half Diamond alternated between keeping to himself in the pink room and eventually leaving to see the others.

It was only fair.

They still _cared_ somehow, worried about him and his health. Amethyst tried to nudge him to just _do stuff_ , and also include him in conversations even if he didn't respond most of the time. Pearl would remind him to care for himself, applying the Diamonds' essences he still much needed to sustain himself (because apparently being only half of a diamond without... without his other half rendered him dependent on it or else he would just wind up... destabilizing). Pearl also helped with any parts he had too much difficulty doing himself. And Garnet simply was there, making sure he wasn't alone, a respectful silence for his comfort. His dad would hug him and tell how much he loved him, and Connie would take Lion to do frequent visits even though her college campus life had begun.

Yet everyone was grieving too, because everyone lost something that day Steven decided he'd rather be gone.

And he could see it, when they weren't looking at him. And when they did, the way they did... he would only remind them that only he was here, that he did what he did, that he wasn't _him_.

It was too much, he couldn't take it.

So in the end he'd always retreat back here.

Recently his thoughts had been occupied with what ifs and desires to go back, undo this whole mess.

And will was a powerful thing. A Diamond's will manifests in many shapes and forms, as a force, as tears, as a shield, as light.

Such a form appeared one day. The small Diamond held his head in his hands, only peering up to see the space in front of him bended and warped, until there stood a hole of swirling light. Not knowing what it was, he’d thought that they got Lion to warp himself in again (they did that a few times after he’d locked himself too long in the room—of course they’d worried). But nothing came out of the light hole. He just stared at it all apprehensively and harshly too, like he was offended at the swirling white mass for daring to intrude his private space.

Though minutes ticked by without a response, which got him curious now. Why would a random white hole appear right in front of him. Did the room malfunction or something?

“Room,” he tested, “make the hole disappear.” Clouds condensed around the white hole, but they just seemed to cover that space rather than actually removing the weird object.

“Don’t cover the hole.” And the clouds parted to reveal the strange white mass again.

_If it isn’t the room or Lion’s portal, could this be one of his own powers_ , he thought to himself. With that in mind, he risked a step closer. It didn’t seem far-fetched to have portal-like powers if Lion got it from his mother’s essence, which would mean his essence too.

His powers are related to his will—which are quite easily affected by his emotions—so he was curious where this would lead him. Though what that place would end up being and how he would go back if the portal were to disappear, were unsettling factors he didn’t have answers to. So he sat and continued staring at it as if that would make up his mind.

Soon he returned to his usual routine of watching the room’s clouds that’d sometimes conjure up figures, little memories playing out before him. Reminding him, distracting him. All at his request.

It seemed like hours, watching the cloudy simulation of Steven getting excited moving in with the gems and taking all his stuff, like all the little plush bears he had, or the first time he got on the road all on his own. Was it healthy watching these memories, clinging on to the past, letting himself swirl in these thoughts and getting lost in it? _Probably not_ , his gem brain told him. But somehow it felt comforting too, like he had control over this, he could stop whenever, and none of it was real, none of it had consequences.

It was a weird state of feeling bad, but also finding comfort in that one controlled this.

~~He didn’t like it, but everything else felt so much harder.~~

And he continued to do this for stars know how long.

Watching, sitting, waiting for nothing to happen. His mind still ever so restless. Growing and swelling until it became too much.

And so his thoughts landed on the portal again. A welcome distraction.

He took a curious step towards it. There wasn’t any pull forcing him into it, which made him experiment with sticking an arm in, observing with intent as he could pull it back with no consequence. The portal seemed stable, plus it had been here during all his moping. He was weighing whether it really was worth it to fully run through it.

The half Diamond felt conflicted about it. He was scared what would happen if he were to step through it, but his hopeless situation only grew his apathy towards that fear. After all, the only thing he had been doing was his same boring routine of sitting here and feeling bad, and occasionally seeing his family and feeling bad... He was stagnating...

He looked towards the portal and made his decision.

...And on the other end were more pink clouds. _Really?_ Did the portal just take him to another place in his mom’s room? He did spend a lot of time here, so he supposed it made sense for his powers to warp him here again if that was his will. So much for a distraction though. So much for hoping for _something… something else_

He supposed he would have to leave this place the traditional way eventually. And with that, he steeled himself to ask for the exit and proceeded, only to stop on the living room's warp pad. That is because what greeted him was _not_ what he was expecting. For one, it wasn’t the current house but _the old one_. And two, he was suddenly facing an old pair of the gems who were surprised and _not so happy to see him_. Not even getting a proper chance to process just what was going on, the gems drew their weapons at him.

“What the heck?”

“Who are you?! What were you doing in Rose’s room!”

Pearl’s voice was already reaching high tones of alert, and Amethyst looked like she was moments away from lashing out with her whip.

“Got nothing to say for yourself?!” The gems were more fight and ask later back, so with no better idea he did what made the most sense and spread his arms.

Right then the whip lashed out, accompanied by Pearl’s spear and Garnet’s gauntlets, but the light from the activated warp had him saved. He looked down, making sure they didn’t manage to follow him into the stream, and made a clear landing in a forest—the forest nearby Beach City.

_Now what in the world did the half Diamond get himself into?_

\--- ★ ---

It was just a regular day for Steven, he’d already greeted his dad by the carwash, grabbed some donuts and checked out if Lars or Sadie were doing anything cool today. No plans, just their job and then home for them. (He did ask Lars if he wanted to hang out but that was an immediate no from him). So now he was just going around trying to find stuff to fill the day.

He thought maybe just taking a stroll through the forest would be nice, he didn’t have anyone else to play with and didn’t feel like gaming by himself. (The gems were busy with gem stuff so he couldn’t get Amethyst in on a game. He did beg to be included in said gem stuff, but no luck).

One day the hybrid is gonna get gem powers so he could hang out with the gems all day!

It was a bit darker in the forest. It was still a ways for summer so the sun didn’t stay so high, but it was still bright enough. He wasn’t worried about it but still stuck to a familiar path, and then just took in the scenery. It was all a sea of various greens... but in his path he also spotted a bright pink hue cast off from the side. It was coming from the bushes to the right.

Steven was curious about it so he went straight to the source. He pushed aside the bushes and found something weird. It was an unusually bright pink figure, and they were hunched over, hugging themselves.

“Whoa...” they were stunning to look at! Were they some sort of magical person?

The pink figure immediately looked up at him.

“Hey I’m Steven! Who are you?”

The pink person just continued to stare at him with a blank face. Were they just shy? Or maybe, what if they didn’t even understand what he was saying because they were like a _foreign_ magic being?

“I am Ste-ven,” the hybrid said slowly and approached with his hands up, “do you understand me?”

“Yes,” came an immediate answer. Their voice had a weird echo to it. Like a magical person!

They didn't say anything else, so Steven guessed they must’ve just been shy then.

“Are you lost? I haven’t seen you around before. Well tourist season has yet to come so I usually don’t see many new faces around this time.”

He sat next to the pink stranger. They didn’t say or do anything other than looking at him. Somehow that felt alright, the pink being gave off good vibes, and Steven didn’t mind vibing with them too.

“You know, wanna have a tour of Beach City? I could show you around!” Steven offered his hand to the other, which the pink person took, and they headed out of the woods together.

And who knows, maybe he could get the pink being to open up to him?

\---

They started out going to Funland, Steven had been giving an intro to all the attractions and was now rounding the corner to the arcade.

“So this is the Funland Arcade, they got lots of classic games in there. And you can win tickets and get cool prizes.”

His pink buddy had all his attention to him as Steven pointed to the place in question.

“There is also this ultra deluxe price, the limited edition Master of Ceremonies Bear Bear. I’ve been saving up tickets so I could get him to my bear collection. I’ve been wanting to play by the arcade more often but I’ve been saving up coins for a day when I can get all the gems to play.”

“I have coins,” his pink buddy simply stated, and then they just put their right hand underneath their shirt where their stomach presumably was. They glowed even brighter for a moment, before pulling out their hand which now held bunch of coins.

“Oh my gosh! Was that _MAGIC?!_ ”

“It's an ability I have, do you want to play?”

“AAAA YES! Of course!” Steven was so excited, he was gonna be hanging out with a magic buddy!

He practically ran to the neon lit arcade with his buddy in tow. They did Skee Ball first and man, his buddy was dead on with all shots. _The perks of being magical_ , the hybrid guessed. Steven was even cheering on them when they got to Meat Beat Mania. It was a bit more of a struggle for his pink fellow at first (motion controls can be _rough_ ), but he got a hang of it!

They also played Teens of Rage against each other. You didn’t win tickets there but Steven thought it would be nice to brawl against each other. And it also meant Steven could show off all the secret combos he knew. They were quite evenly matched which made for some exciting battles.

“Also Wolf-man is the best character,” the hybrid felt the need to mention, because that was a _fact_.

“Yes.” _See? Even magic buddies have good taste._

In the end of their gaming spree, his pink buddy had won 57 tickets while Steven had 12 plus 34 from his previous visits. They've really been productive today, and since his buddy had been so kind to play with him and fund their little play session, Steven offered to lend them any tickets they needed for their prized.

“So what do you wanna get,” the hybrid asked, once they stood by the prize corner.

They immediately answered. “The bear, Master of Ceremonies Bear Bear. For you.”

“Y-You whaaaat?!” he… he couldn’t believe it! Steven could barely keep his excitement and spun around a few times before giving his magic buddy a huge hug. “Aaaaaa thank you!”

“Wanna have the honor of giving Bear Bear a nickname,” the hybrid asked mid-hug.

His pink buddy looked up from where they were staring at Steven for a sec and then looked back. “Hugs.”

That got a laugh out of Steven. “Hehehe, Hugs? Is that his name?”

“Is that alright?”

“Hehe, of course! I think it’s funny and cute.”

Steven bowed in front of the plushie. “It is an honor to welcome you into our family, Mr. Hugs,” he mock-fancily spoke.

His buddy stared silently at him. Now Steven wasn’t exactly a magic buddy _expert_ , but he swore he could feel them radiate a comfortable warmth through their glowy form, so he guessed they were content.

They exited the arcade with the recently dubbed “Hugs” and also ended their visit at Funland. It wasn’t until they hit the Boardwalk that Steven had a realization.

“By the way, I never got your name,” his buddy was shy and hadn’t exactly introduced themself, but it didn’t hurt to ask for a name. He made sure to give his buddy the time they needed to answer.

“... Steven.”

“Yeah?” Steven stopped for a moment, but his pink fellow didn’t seem to continue. “Or wait,” The hybrid realized, “is that your name? Are you a Steven too?”

“Yes.”

Heh Steven couldn’t believe the odds of that! They even got matching star shirts, hairstyles and flip flops too. Who knows, he might have been destined to meet his magic buddy?

“Well, I think a Steven needs to be treated to the fine pastries that are _donuts_.”

He already got donuts in the morning but this Steven also deserves some, plus it was way past noon now so enough time passed for another round. “So wanna come with me to the Big Donut?”

\---

The doors to the store opened and in came the trio of Steven, Steven and Hugs (because of course Mr. Hugs was an important member too). Sadie was at the counter and greeted the hybrid as usual.

“Hey Steven, who is your friend there?”

“This is my new buddy, his name is also Steven! We just met!” (Steven had also asked for the other Steven's pronouns on the way.)

Lars was standing off to the side and butted in with a remark. “How can you be buddies with someone you just met? Don't you know about stranger danger?” Lars snickered at that last comment.

“Hey this Steven is no danger! He is a friendly magic buddy!” _A friendly magic buddy with a good fashion sense too at that._

“Magic? Is he like one of your magic sisters or something?”

“Well he isn’t my sister… hmmm but potentially,” the hybrid looked over to his pink fellow, “could you be a long lost brother?!” he mused with an awed glimt in his eyes. _Because yeah, how cool would that be?_

“No,” the pink Steven deadpanned.

“Well, didn’t hurt to ask?” Sadie suppressed a chuckle, while Lars was laughing his way off. After composing herself, she asked them if they wanted anything.

“Two donuts, please! One strawberry” Steven ordered. “What do you want to get, Steven?” he addressed his buddy.

The pink being was silent for a moment before saying, “The same as you.”

After getting the treats, Steven was already working his way through his, while his buddy just stared at the pastry.

“Are you saving yours for later?”

His buddy turned to face him. “No… I just… I haven’t eaten in this form before.” _Wait does that mean..._

“YOU HAVEN’T EATEN A DONUT BEFORE?! But they're so delicious, soft and tasty—you’ve got to try one!” Steven couldn’t believe this scandalizing information, his buddy being deprived of one of life’s treasures that is tasty food.

With the hybrid’s urgence, the other Steven took a slow bite off his donut.

“So,” Steven steepled his hands, motioning them towards his pink buddy “what do you think?”

“It’s a donut,” the other simply answered back with their otherworldly echo.

“Well yeah, but what was the flavour like?”

“Strawberry.”

This prompted Lars to laugh a little again. “Okay I like this dude.”

“Aaand,” Steven leaned in closer, partly for emphasis, partly in anticipation, “did you like it?”

His magic buddy was very still for a moment, and Steven could almost swear his pink glow spiked too, but then his buddy looked away. “... I did.”

Steven smiled, “I knew it! Nobody can resist the tastiness of a good ol’ donut!”

\---

The sun was getting lower in the sky, making the boardwalk engulfed in warm colors.

“Well it looks like it’s getting late,” the hybrid conceded, “so I guess this is it for our little tour.”

He waved his hand at his pink buddy. “Bye Steven, it was nice meeting you! Also,” Steven moved the plushie’s hand to wave too, “Mr. Hugs says goodbye too!”

And with that Steven headed home. The gems probably were there too from their mission, unless this was one of the long ones. He hoped his new friend would hang around Beach City sometime again. And maybe that time he could even introduce him to the gems! Just magic beings meeting magic beings.

_Oh gosh, Steven never even told him about the gems!_ Well that had to be for another time.

The hybrid rounded the corner to the cliffside with the giant statue, and he was about to scale the stairs to home until he caught a glimpse of a pink figure behind him. His magic buddy? What was he doing here?

“Uhhh, hey there? Are you lost again, buddy?”

The other said nothing again, so the hybrid continued asking. “Um, did you want to see my house?”

His friend was quiet but stepped closer. Steven was confused for a moment, but then his friend gently took his hand.

“Awwww, you were just missing me!”

“Well I guess we still have the evening together. We can hang around in my house!” Steven gripped the hand that was holding him, and led them both up the stairs and inside.

Steven released his hand and turned to his friend. “So what do you wanna do? Play games, watch a movie? I have all 5 seasons of Lonely Blade,” he went around rummaging the closet to present the items in question, but then he heard a chime—the familiar chime of the warp pad.

“We've already done cursory searches at major gem sites the unknown pink gem could've gone to, but if we have to find her, we need to plan a much bigger search operation.” Great! The gems were home now, and Pearl’s substantial voice was already filling the room.

“Hey guys!”

“Hello StevOAHHHH—” Pearl squealed.

"It's her!" Garnet announced from her spot.

Pearl managed to get out of her frantic noise making. "STEVEN GET AWAY FROM HER! SHE'S DANGEROUS!"

\--- ★ ---

So it looked as though the gems found him, and they still were very not happy. The half Diamond stood by his younger self’s side at a loss of what to do. An explanation was needed, but revealing the whole truth was not... appropriate. His half gem brain struggled to find the right words to explain his existence without befalling them _that_.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, what’s going on? Guys, this is just my new magic buddy, his name is also Steven!” The kid looked so panicked now.

“They think I am an enemy,” he tried to clarify for the younger.

“Uh, yeah?! ‘Cause you were just randomly inside the temple and ran off without saying anything,” Amethyst scoffed. Her suspicions made sense, but he failed to see how he could’ve acted differently. And he _needed_ to get away… attacking a panicked Diamond wouldn’t bode well for anyone.

“Why are you here with Steven?” The gems had their weapons out again, of course. But this time they did hold off from charging, probably because Steven stood right next to him. And he was trying to form an answer, really. But he got cut off from his thoughts by Steven asking another question.

“Wait, you were here before?”

“Yes,” that was much easier to answer, “I came here through a portal,” he added.

“A portal?!” the gems were visibly shocked and alarmed while Steven looked intrigued.

“What portal? What are you even doing here?” He did not yet know how to answer that. What was he supposed to say? That he was grieving over his own death and his Diamond powers subconsciously made him want to see his past self again?

The gems were losing their patience. “She is still not answering us,” Pearl complained. Her grip on her spear was tightening as time went on.

“Steven, just run away from her!” Amethyst desperately appealed. The gems kept escalating the situation, while the half Diamond stood still, starting to feel the growing pressure. The hostility, the raised voices from his family—it was making the gem in his belly stir, responding to the spikes of danger they were throwing at him.

“No guys! I see you are very angry, but Steven is my friend,” the hybrid tried to defend.

Right then the half Diamond noticed Amethyst move her hand with the whip, and not a moment later his gem reacted accordingly. The hybrid flinched in surprise at the sudden pink wall that appeared between them and the gems, making the whip just bounce off the pink surface.

“Wha—”

“ _STEVEN?!_ ”

Things really weren’t going great, and unfortunately his defence was only aggravating the gems. They had all ran up and were all banging their weapons against the shield.

Steven approached them from the other side. “I’m fine! Sorry about all this, and I'm sorry to you too, Steven,” the hybrid looked so guilty at him and then turned back to the gems. “I know I hadn't invited my friend over, and I know I don't know a whole lot about what's going on, but can you please stop fighting! Maybe we can just talk?”

“Hey, we've been trying that all this time, Pinkster is the one who is all clammed up,” Amethyst called out.

“Well maybe you guys are being really scary! Steven is just really shy.”

“ _Really,_ ” the purple gem said with what sounded like sarcasm.

“Yeah, we’ve been together all day! He is just quiet like that.”

With no idea how to calm the hostile gems, he was glad that Steven could speak up for him, but he felt bad about needing him to defend him and confront his family like that.

Now it was Pearl’s turn to speak. “You two…have just been together?”

“Yes,” the half Diamond replied.

“But... why?”

He kept quiet as he was thinking. What immediately came to mind was _because it’s Steven_ , but he could see how that would need to be elaborated. And for that he felt that he’d had to explain everything, and he doesn’t know where or how to start yet...  
  
His ongoing silence at his still processing mind was much to the frustration of the others.

“Augh why is this gotta be so difficult?” Amethyst groaned in frustration. “Like just out of nowhere this pink glowing gem shows up through this so-called _mysterious portal_ and is all buddy with Steven, who also calls him(?) Steven. And he can’t even tell us why he is here?”

“We don’t even know what kind of gem he is.”

“Wait, _Steven is a gem?!_ ” the hybrid was visibly baffled at this info.

It did just occur to the half Diamond he could’ve just shown them his gem. He wasn’t used to exposing his gem to others… it was not a thing he liked to do ever since he’d been resurrected. The gem may not look too different to the naked eye, but the surface surrounding it... was a different story. He lifted up his shirt carefully—making sure not to tug it up too much and that his hand blocked the view of any exposed skin—for Steven and the gems to see.

“Is that—”

“A Rose Quartz gem!”

“Woah, it’s like my gem!” Steven lifted up his shirt too to show his gem off and stood beside him. “Look, we are gem buddies now!” Seeing Steven’s mirth again was reassuring for the half Diamond.

The gems were now just staring at them. “You know, aside from the glowy creepiness, Steven and Pinkie do look quite similar.”

“But how?” the pale gem questioned.

“Time travel,” Garnet simply stated. “You came here through time travel.”

He nodded at that.

The purple gem just rolled her eyes. “Wow you could’ve said that forever ago. So means that Steven's gonna become this creepy, pink glow-torch in the future? Laaaaame.” _It’s nice to see you too, Amethyst._

“OH MY GOSH YOU’RE ME FROM THE FUTURE!” It was at least comforting to see that Steven was glad at that revelation. “Oh oh, what's the future like? Is Crying Breakfast Friends getting a season 3?! And oh is the theory true? Is Crabby Cup really Glum Glass? Wait no don't tell me." Steven sure did have a lot of questions but the half Diamond didn’t mind the chatter, he loved hearing him again...

Garnet had to step in and kneeled in front of the pink wall that still separated them. "Now Steven, I know you have many questions for your future self, but we need to know why he is here and how to send him back." He hadn’t thought about that… that he _had_ to go back because he didn’t belong here… He knew it was wrong to be here but...

He stared at the hybrid.

“Okay but is anyone gonna ask why future Ste-man looks and acts all weird,” Amethyst commented, “I'm pretty sure humans don't look like that.”

“Huh?” Looks like Steven was thinking about it too. “Maybe it's a new power? Like when you get really, really strong you glow!”

“Pretty sure that only happens in cartoons, man.”

“Steven can glow,” the half Diamond remarked, because that fact _was_ true, even if the circumstances for his current form were something else...

“Wooo, I’m gonna be just like all the cartoon heroes!” Steven exclaimed as he stroke what the Diamond assumed to be a hero pose. The gems were also smitten by Steven’s joy as they looked way less tense than before.

After that delight, Amethyst turned to him. “Okay but seriously though, why are you here?” _And now back to the hard questions…_

“Future-Steven, please,” Pearl insisted, “we need to know. I’m just worried since you’ve been avoiding telling us.”

“Did, like, something bad happen?”

He turned away from them. He wasn’t looking at them, he really didn’t want to be looking at anyone right now.

“Future me... are you afraid of telling us?”

“... Yes.”

And it was then he felt a pair of warm arms envelop him… it was a hug. It was different from the hugs of excitement the hybrid gave earlier. Just a silent moment between them—he could even hear the slow breaths from the younger of them. Hearing Steven breathe, feeling his warmth, _him being here_ , _alive_ , it calmed the half Diamond.

In the midst of his repose, he almost didn’t notice how his walls had gone down. The gems approached them, which did alert him slightly. Garnet had her arms crossed, but then she flashed him a faint smile.

“I think we should give these two some space,” she said as she put her hands on top of Amethyst and Pearl standing beside her. The pale gem looked like she wanted to retort, whereas Amethyst briefly glanced at him before shrugging.

“Eh, whatever you say, man,” she said right before getting up to leave into the temple. Garnet and Pearl followed her suit.

It was now just the two of them, him with Steven. The younger of them went back to the sofa and plucked Mr. Hugs out of his seat and onto the his lap.

“So, wanna watch those Lonely Blade movies?”

\--- ★ ---

_Yawn_ , so after that movie night and a good scare, Steven felt pretty tired. He’d been sitting on future-Steven’s lap the whole time, with Mr. Hugs on top of his. For some reason, he feels so calm when he is near future-him. The vibes, man, he was just so full of good vibes. It almost made him fall asleep quite a few times—or maybe that was his exhaustion speaking because this day sure was eventful.

But before he headed to bed there was one more topic he wanted to tackle. “You know, we should probably find a name for you. With us both around, having two Stevens would get pretty confusing.”

Future him sat quietly, the same spot at the foot of the bed where they watched the last movie, which was his cue to continue.

“Hmmm, what name to choose…” the hybrid speculated, “Amethyst called you Pinkster, right? Oh that kind of sounds like Pink Star? Any of these names sound good? Personally I kind of like ‘Star’, ‘cause you shine bright like a star and it begins with ‘St’ like our name!”

“Star...” future-him echoed. He was now gazing deeply into the hybrid’s eyes and Steven stared back and found something about the other’s eyes—they had sparkles in them!

“Woah you even got stars in your eyes! They are like little diamonds!”

Future-him seemed to be surprised as he blinked at this comment, and so the diamond-sparkles disappeared. Huh, actually this might be the first time Steven ever saw the other blink before. Note to self, _do not challenge future him to a staring contest._

“So what'd ya think about that name?”

“I... really like it,” his echoing voice sounding much shyer than before.

“Star it is then! It’s cute and cool, like you!”

  
_Yawn_ , the hybrid could barely keep his eyes open without dozing off. “We should really go to bed now… Oh yeah we need to find a place for you to sleep.” Steven thought for a moment. “There is the couch, and I think my dad has a couple of sleeping bags?”

“I don't need to sleep.”

“Gee you don't need to do anything, huh? Is this some sort of gem thing? Well little Steven still needs his rest, so off to bed with me!”

The hybrid prepped himself in the bed, while Star moved downstairs. “I guess this is goodnight then,” the hybrid called out from his comfortable spot. “Um, is it possible to turn off that glow?”

Star glanced down at himself and then back up at the hybrid without responding.

“Hmmm,” Steven kicked off his covers and went downstairs to investigate. “So I guess you don’t have an off-switch somewhere?”

Glancing around the living room, he got an idea. He grabbed some blankets and basically wrapped them around Star until he was covered head to toe. And by head to toe then quite literally everything was covered, even the face. Star was a simple lump of blankets now.

“I think this could work,” Steven said once satisfied and went back to bed.

“Good night, Star!”

\--- ★ ---

It was half an hour before the half Diamond—now named Star—decided to move from his spot, blankets still draped over him but moved from his face to allow him to see the living room. With no other distractions, he was still trying to catch up and process this day. His mind couldn't settle over the fact that he was here, and that Steven was here, and what it all meant.

He took an unneeded breath, something the Garnet in his time taught him. He started with something simple, his name. Star. It was such a simple thing and yet it made him feel… happy? Star never had a proper name before, always just going by _Steven_ , his _gem_ , his _half_ —but now he had Star.

He kept that thought as he slowly headed towards Rose’s room to process the rest of his thoughts. If there is one thing that’s left unchanged in the past, it was this room. It looked identical to the one he’d spent months isolated in, regretting what he’d let happen to his Steven… He took another breath and willed the room to replay today's memories, so as to aid his focus on the most current events instead.

With a puff of smoke, the smiling form of this time's Steven came to life, eager to pull the future gem along. But Star didn't follow, preferring to stand and watch from the sidelines as the younger hybrid sped off as if he was holding him anyway.

The fake Steven was now telling the empty outline of him about the town and asking questions that he did and didn't get answers to. Star wished he could explain himself better, but he found himself overwhelmed by how to produce an answer; after all he wasn't used to operating on half a brain, and his previous human part did most of the processing regarding speech.

He wonders if he would ever feel whole again. He didn't even feel like a full gem. His family in the future tried to reassure him, saying they were glad that he was there even through their shared grief of Steven… but the family in this time didn’t hide their judgement; they can see he was _wrong_ , that he wasn't _him_ anymore.

The half Diamond turned his head as three new clouds condensed before him, fake weapons drawn against him by the familiar, aforementioned figures. He didn’t know what to think of them. They obviously didn’t really trust him, but allowed his stay for now. He’d ignored the gems in his time when stuck over his grief and guilt, and he wasn’t sure whether he had the capacity to involve himself with them now.

But he wanted to be with Steven.

He.

He wanted to protect Steven.

In his silence, he watched the facsimile of the hybrid bounding off happily and going through the hour they spent together. At the end, the hybrid gave his future half a big hug, the one he did to calm him down.

And Star did what he hadn’t done then and hugged him back.

\--- ★✰★✰★ ---

[Art of Steven meeting Star in the forest]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m still new to writing any longer fics, so I’m not sure when I’ll get to do the next chapter. I hope the story has been alright so far, I'd love to hear your thoughts!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your nice comments! It made me so happy to read all of them!
> 
> Just a small retcon from the previous chapter: I realise the timeline I had in mind wasn't working with this taking place “way after summer”, so now I've changed it so the beginning takes place “way before summer”. I hope this change is alright.

It was morning, sunlight was rolling over his bed as usual. _Man_ , the hybrid thought to himself, _it almost as if yesterday had all been a weird dream_. But the bundle of blankets standing right smack in the middle of the living room said otherwise. Steven laughed a little to himself.

“Gooooood morning, Star!” he announced as he was already kicking off his own covers and running down to greet the other him. His pink fellow stood quiet as he had come to expect.

_Hmmmm_ , Steven was eyeing the covers like he was conniving a plan.

“Surprise hug!” he tackled his taller self and pulled the covers off the other’s face. “Hehe, did you really stand there all night?”

No answer, but Steven didn’t really mind. Besides, Star looked so cozy in his cocoon—his mysterious good vibes telling Steven he was happy. The hybrid didn’t know whether it was some special ability or time travel connection or whatever that gave him that sense, but hey, future-him was glad and that’s all he needed to know for now.

Steven went through his morning routine and it seemed like Star was too by going to the bathroom for a while. By the time it was breakfast, the gems finally showed up.

“Hey guys!”

He was met with a "hello" and "'sup" from Garnet and Amethyst.

“Hello Steven! And umm future Steven. Did you enjoy your night yesterday?” the pale gem asked.

“Yeah, and we even found a name for future-me! Do you wanna tell them, Star?”

“... It's Star.” Oh yeah, heh, Steven just now noticed his slip-up. What could he say, he liked that name? The gems smiled at it too so he counts that as a win. 

Pearl walked over to reach the top row of kitchen cabinets. “So Star and Steven, I take it you both want cereal?”

“Wait, you’re all gonna stay here for breakfast?!” Steven was surprised, since they usually were so busy these days.

“Well of course,” she assured him.

“Yeah, we just wanna spend some time with you,” the purple Quartz caught his attention as she slung an arm around him, “and Pinkster over there too!”

Awww, Steven couldn’t help but smile hearing that, that they actually wanted to be with him. It's been such a long time since they’ve had breakfast together. And they were warming up to Star too! This called for a celebration. 

To answer Pearl’s question, “Since we’re all here, no ordinary cereal would do. This is a big occasion, and for that we need a special meal!” Steven was already gathering the waffle package, popcorns, cream and everything else for his magnum opus of a breakfast.

“Hmm,” he heard Pearl hum as she assisted his creative work with gathering plates and necessary cutlery.

Once Steven finished flourishing the stack of waffles, everyone gathered by the counter.

“I call it _together breakfast_.”

“Ooo, GIMME GIMME!” Amethyst made a dramatic show of looming over the defenceless waffle tower.

“Na-ah-aaaah, Amethyst, it’s for everybody to eat,” the hybrid’s eyes trailed over to Pearl and Garnet, “Well most of us at least. Plus Star hasn’t had dessert for breakfast in a really long time!”

“Pfff wha? Is Pinkster over here on a diet or something?”

“No, he just doesn’t eat in the future.”

Now it was Pearl’s turn to interject, “Doesn’t eat? But humans need to consume matter to sustain themselves?”

“Steven is a hybrid,” Garnet thoughtfully supplied, “We don’t know how his gem side affects his body and needs.”

“So you think Steven might have adopted some more gem-like characteristics in the future? That would certainly explain his appearance...” it seemed like Pearl was already doing all these mental calculations.

“That’s why you don’t sleep,” Steven’s mind opened to that revelation, “So wait that means that I’ll become like a real crystal gem!”

“Oh Steven,” Pearl assured him, “you are a real crystal gem!”

“But I still can’t come on missions and, and I still don’t have all these cool powers like you guys have!”

“Hey, just cause you don’t have that stuff now doesn’t mean you aren’t a part of the team. You’re one of us, Steven,” the purple gem affirmed, Garnet nodding along.

“Aww, you guys.” He may not have powers now, but he was happy to hear they still accepted him. 

And who knows he might get them soon.

\---

With that, breakfast continued on. Future-him was nibbling at his lone waffle, not as enthusiastic as Steven’s eating and definitely no Amethyst, but he seemed alright with his piece. The gems had asked him questions, again about the future and how or why he was here. Maybe they’d hoped he’d warmed up from yesterday, but his silence said otherwise. At least the gems didn’t seem upset about it like yesterday (which had been really scary...)

Though there was one question that got through, one from Amethyst.

“So how far from the future are you?”

It almost seemed like he wouldn’t answer until he gave a question of his own, “What day is it?”

“Oh, yeah you don’t know that.”

“It’s currently May the 7th, 2013 according to the Gregorian calendar people currently use,” Pearl elegantly supplied.

Star was quiet for a moment before he simply said, “7 years.”

_So 7 plus his 12 years..._ , the hybrid mentally counted. “Wow, so you’re 19? You’re an adult now!” He hadn’t considered his age, but just the thought that this was technically _him_ as an _adult_ was sending the young hybrid reeling.

Amethyst was already crawling closer to the adult Steven over the counter. “Now that I think about it, you do kinda look like Greg when he was younger.” 

“My dad?” Steven asked.

“Yeah like, he has the same height and has the neck,” the purple gem pointly poked the mentioned area. Star wasn’t voicing any complaints about the poking.

“Amethyst, I already have a neck!”

“You sure about that? I ain't seeing any.” _Aah! Now she was poking him._

And so their sibling-like banter continued on. It seemed like Amethyst was bringing Star into this too as she had started poking him again, now prodding in all sorts of places, after finding his apathy to it funny.

Pearl gave an annoyed growl. “ _Amethyst..._ ”

“What? It’s not like he’s telling me to stop.”

“That doesn’t mean you should do it.” _Sigh_ , those two were at it again. The hybrid shifted his focus on Star and noticed he was flexing his hand. That was strange, he thought he could spy some sort of pink object in future-him’s palm before it closed.

“What’s that?” Steven quite openly announced.

Everyone turned to look at him and then Star as the hybrid pointed to his hand.

“You are holding something?”

“Oh,” future-him caught on and held out his hand. “This is just my power.”

His opened palm showed something akin to a pink origami. It looked like a weird little tree, or maybe just a cone? It was a bit crude in it’s pink plated form. 

When Steven thought about it, it looked similar to the shield wall he’d created yesterday with the pink plates!

“Woah, that’s really cool,” Steven complimented his future self, “I wish I could do that.”

Wait a sec, since this actually _was_ him… “Could you teach me how to do that?”

\--- ★ ---

Star had begun fidgeting with his powers without really even noticing it.

Just a habit he’d partly learnt from Lapis, partly adopted himself. It was just a little thing, helping him hold his powers under control, dampening the restless energy that buzzed under his skin.

He was still pretty anxious about being in the past. It was a chance to make a change… but whether he could make it a positive one, he was uncertain. And knowing every decision and action counted was nerve-racking.

So when his younger self asked about his power… Star had shrugged.

“... Is that a yes?”

Star shrugged again.

“ _I’m not hearing a noo-o~_ ”

Surprisingly the gems didn’t object to him having a training session with Steven, but they of course allowed themselves to come along and spectate. They moved to the sky arena, since that was a more suitable area.

Star stood in front of the rest of them, who’d all taken a seat by the front row.

“My powers come from my will,” he extended his hand. “If I desire to protect, that will allows me to shield,” pink plates lined in front of him into the shape of a five-pointed star, a shape he’d chosen because he thought it would be neat. 

Steven was already beaming at his display.

“I can also change the shape of it,” he continued on with the demonstration. The half Diamond clasped his hands and the open shield expanded and went to form a small dome around him. From there he let his fingers dance around, altering the pink dome to showcase an array of geometric patterns.

“Yo, that’s pretty sick,” Amethyst complimented from the sidelines. All of the gems seemed impressed, a nice change from their panicked stares from yesterday, and Steven was looking pretty starry eyed himself. (It was easing knowing Steven liked his powers and wasn’t scared of them, yet.)

After he was done, the kid went to stand next to him.

“Alright so I just gotta think about a shield?” Following that sentiment, the hybrid closed his eyes and put his hands by his temples. “Hnnnnngggggg, shiiieeeeld pooowwerrrrrs... ACTIVATE!!!”

“Is it working?” the kid asked after a few seconds of nothing.

“No.”

“Awww," Steven slumped at that. Star felt a bit guilty he couldn’t really be of much help here. What he said about how his powers worked was true, but the way he learnt it—when he still was Steven—was just him eventually getting a feel for it. The hybrid would just have to get it through experience… Star just hoped he could make that a good experience.

“Dude, you gotta relax, chill out; I just go with the vibes,” Amethyst called out from her spot. She laid sprawled over her seat and lazily reached for her gem and pulled out her whip. “See?” 

Steven took that advice and tried to imitate her by lying dead flat on the floor, but to no avail.

“Ahem, Amethyst,” Pearl cut in with her own reasoning, “I think a more calculated approach would be more helpful, than your abstract 'vibes'. What you need to do is imagine your weapon like a physical property that you can gain insight to. That way you can figure out how yours work and summon your weapon,” she summoned her spear and gave it a smug twirl. “Like so.”

Amethyst glared back at her and Star really hoped those two wouldn’t go at it again, but Steven interrupted the potential argument by asking how Garnet does it.

“Imagine yourself and your bond to this universe. Feel this connection to this bond so that you may summon the very powers of the universe through your gem.” Very cryptic—it definitely was a Garnet way of explaining it. Sadly, Steven looked like he absolutely blanked on it. 

“Riiiight. What if I just—” the kid just began slapping his hand over his gem desperately.

“Hitting your gem won't activate your powers,” Star explained.

The hybrid went on to shaking his belly instead.

“Shaking won't either.”

Steven let out a disappointed sound and let himself drop flat on his back. “Argh, then what am I supposed to do?” He turned to look at Star. “How did you activate your shield the first time?”

“I ate ice cream.”

“Really? Then we should get ice cream! I think I still have some Cookie Cats in the freezer?” Steven sounded so elated at the prospect.

Amethyst was laughing in the background, while Pearl was sounding absolutely incredulous. “You can't be serious? Ice cream?!”

“The first time my powers were triggered happened while my younger self was eating ice cream, but not after consecutive attempts at eating ice cream,” Star clarified, which did placate the pale gem.

Garnet hummed thoughtfully. "So something else must've triggered it."

“Can I please have a Cookie Cat anyway?” the hybrid asked.

Probably sensing his distracting desires after no progress had been made, Pearl had gone to give Steven a reassuring ruffle on his head. “You can have one after training. We just have to figure out how to summon your weapon,” she insisted. He put on a tiny smile, but Star could tell the hybrid was feeling down.

_Hmm_ , Star had an idea. Something to help him and maybe cheer him up. The half Diamond crouched down to be at Steven’s level. Everyone had his attention on him. Then he leaned in and planted a kiss on the hybrid’s forehead, prompting a giggle from the younger—a sound he loved to hear.

“Aww, hehe, Star—” his words got cut off as his own gem began to glow, and then right after the outline of a round shield appeared.

“IS THAT?!”

“It’s your shield, I activated it for you.”

Steven's eyes were nearly impossibly wide. “Your kiss made me do this?” Star nodded. “ _Gasp_ , the power of love!”

The kid was so excited and even the gems seemed to be in on the excitement and gave them a full round of applause. Getting the shield in his hands was a little tricky, as he didn’t know how to steer it when there wasn’t a physical handle to grab onto, but he eventually got it down with Star’s assistance.

\---

And with that step taken care of they could move onto the practicing. Pearl summoned one of her Holo-Pearls to which Star immediately cut through with a pink polygon spike. 

“You got fast reflexes, Star,” his younger self complimented.

Pearl was definitely caught off guard as she’d almost pointed her spear at him, but was quick to hold back.

“What’s that about?!”

“It's dangerous,” he’d explained.

“What do you mean _dangerous_ ,” she defended. “We aren't going to start with the advanced techniques yet, it's just going to be simple parries and thrusts.” 

“It has a sword.”

“Of course it has a sword, how else should it attack,” she spoke as it was all obvious.

“Without a sword.” He stated obviously back. It was worrying to remember how much of a danger Steven was casually exposed to by the gems alone.

Amethyst was laughing over at her spot. “Right, we don't wanna have your creepy clones accidentally stab Steven.” _Yes, that would be horrible._ The half Diamond failed to see what was funny about that, meanwhile Pearl sounded indignant.

“My holo-Pearls would never!”

“Foam,” Star interjected, because please just use something that won’t harm the kid. 

The gems turn to stare at him, not quite getting it.

“Oh like a foam sword!” Steven suggested.

“That doesn't sound like a bad idea,” the purple gem admitted, “better than having Steven shish-kebab.”

That only riled the old renegade further. “Amethyst!”

“What, I'm just saying the truth, P.”

“Urgh fine, I think I might have a foam sword,” she eventually relented and pulled one out of her gem. “There.”

Now with that done, they could actually begin practicing. And it did go smoothly at first, but as time went on Steven seemed to be losing his focus at the monotone routine of blocking parries and thrusts. That was alright though, Star just wanted him to begin practicing in a safe environment than in heat of a fight or mission.

It was a bit spiced up when the hybrid had been allowed to practice with the sword too… only for him to be disinterested when that turned out to be also just blocking parries and thrusts. But this is Steven we’re talking about. For his final move, he surprised them all by shouting “ _BOOMERANG BLADE_ ” and sent his foam sword flying. It completely missed the Holo-Pearl, by the way, and instead went on to bonk Star in the head. (He didn’t have the same instinct to shield since it was a pretty harmless Steven-branded attack—something he had a soft spot for, he began to realise)

The hybrid apologised, of course. And Garnet let him ride the top of her head on their way home since he was probably exhausted from all this training.

Steven could barely muster any further steps before he flopped onto the edge of the couch. The gems slowly trickled into the temple, being busy with their own thing that they didn’t feel the need to mention. Garnet was the last to leave, reminding him about the Cookie Cats in the freezer for some reason.

For now it was only Steven and Star.

With no further idea on what to do, Star sat beside Steven and observed—the straight posture of the half Diamond contrasting the tired sag of Steven. With no other distractions, Star could fully immerse himself in beholding the hybrid. He loved being near him. It made him feel… a bit fuller than before.

His mind finally had something he could be happy about.

He took a moment, just appreciating the other’s presence while he could. Because he knew he had other things to worry about. 

Eventually Star lifted the arms of his jacket sleeve to confirm his suspicion. Static. Skin that had been lost to the slow-going destabilization. He’d used a lot of powers today, hasn’t he? How long would those Diamond vials last him?

Steven was curled up at his side. 

Nevermind that now, he’d deal with it later. There was still time.

Inspecting the slumped form of the hybrid, Star could see that he had his eyes closed and was now drawing slow and steady breaths. Asleep. The regular rising and falling of the chest. Star just soaked up all these vital signs.

After taking care of a dead body for months, it’s what he’d longed to see.

\--- ★ ---

Steven woke up to the sensation of someone carting through his hair. Just a nice and gentle combing mixed with a good ruffle. He’d expected the gems (mostly Garnet) ‘cause they were the staple hair touslers in the house—but no, he was greeted with the familiar glow of Star.

“Hey Star, _ouch_ ,” trying to rise up caused his body to ache, “I think I’m beat after that workout.”

From his spot, he noticed the outside was still bright and sunny, but the sunlight was no longer coming from the east.

“How long was I gone for?”

The area under Star's shirt shone brighter and his older self went to pull out a phone from there (must be another power). He turned on the screen but quickly turned it off.

“The time is not correct.”

“Heh, what?”

“My phone displays the time from the future.”

“Oh right. Well I don’t think I can do much of anything else today,” Steven dropped to his comfy spot. Star caught his attention when his hand landed on top of his head again.

“Do you want a Cookie Cat?” his older self offered.

“Yeah, I could use one right about now.” His future self was really indulging him. The young hybrid was glad that he didn’t have to wake up to find himself alone and helpless with a stiff and aching body.

After a few steps, his older self had reached the freezer.

“You can also grab a Cookie Cat for yourself, we're plenty stocked,” Steven yelled from the sofa.

Star tilted his head to him.

“Do you want me to?”

“I mean only if you want to?” the kid didn’t realise how his words could’ve sounded like a demand. Star stared at him like his words were law, and that made Steven falter a bit.

“It’s just an offer, I know you don't need to eat and all. I just thought it’d be nice with a Cookie Cat?”

His other self proceeded to stand still for a moment, his face was blank, so it was hard to say whether he was considering it or not. When Steven thought about it, Star really did only eat when Steven offered him food.

“Hey,” he got the attention of the other, “could I actually ask you about that? Why did you stop eating in the first place? Food still tastes really great even if you don’t need it?”

Some future questions were hard for the other, but he did receive a subtle shrug. “Food isn’t appetizing to me.”

Oh.

That was a bit sad to hear... He only lost appetite whenever he was sad over something, and well, judging from his quietness about certain topics, Star did seem to be hiding something sad. But Steven didn’t press further, he knows he doesn’t want to be forced to talk about something he wasn’t ready for, so he wouldn’t put that on his future self.

Star returned—only with one ice cream treat in hand, which Steven gladly accepted. They sat next to each other again, and at some point Star had laid his hand atop of his curly hair, again, mid-munch. It’s not something the hybrid minded. Quite opposite in fact—it made him feel happy, safe in a way. He leaned in to the touch (well as much as he could without spilling ice cream on the other), and soaked up the other’s affection.

\---

In their moment, as they laid pressed together, Steven began to notice some things about the other. 

His future self, now more gem-like, didn't breathe. It made him appear even more still, coupled with his non-blinking and neutral face.

But as the hybrid rested close to him, Steven could feel a gentle drum through Star’s skin. Vibrations that seemed stronger the closer he leaned to the other’s gem. The hum of his pink gem was almost like a soothing song. It felt familiar in a way, even though he'd never heard his own gem make as much as a peep. It was a sign that his gem was alive and active.

And in a way, it felt reassuring to know he'd be more in-tune with his gem-side when he gets older. He wonders if the gems in the future are proud of him. The gems now always seemed to be missing his mom, and well, Steven felt like he often wasn’t enough. But now, looking at Star and the progress they already made today, maybe he could be enough one day.

He’d wanted to grow up to be something that could fill that emptiness.

\--- ★✰★✰★ ---

[Art of Steven's gem glowing after Star activated it]


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry for the wait, I've been a bit busy with studies and other projects and it seems like I will still be busy for some time. Huge thanks to Stargazer19 for discussing some ideas for this fic! (I’m open to discuss or ramble about this au if anyone’s interested).
> 
> I’m trying out something new by also having other characters’ pov than just Steven and Star’s.

Star didn't sleep. That wasn't new.

Had he tried to sleep before? Absolutely. Anything that could take his mind off his spiraling thoughts. But as it turned out, that did nothing to turn off the destructive and depressive things his mind could conjure. In fact, it was even worse during dreams since he had _no control_ —completely powerless against what he’ll experience, be it nice or cruel.

Sometimes he’d feel himself die again. Sometimes he’d be reunited with his other half and it’d be agonizing to ever wake up again.

That’s why he opted to stay awake, and why he had the rose-tinted room. It was something he could control.

And the room served another purpose too. With nothing to do, not desiring to do anything, because of the way his mind didn't have a task, a goal, a sense of purpose… it made it hard to even be here, existing.

Mentally, at times, he felt removed from his body. (No not astral projecting, there weren't any powers at play here). He was awake and yet he felt as though his mind was in danger of slipping into this haze. Feeling like he was gone and yet still here, hurting.

Grieving was hard, but losing oneself to the sheer emptiness that his lack of purpose gave him was scary.

Viewing these memories through these cloudy simulations did more than distract him from his guilty thoughts; they also anchored him, offering his mind to focus on something.

  
But now, Star was in the past with Steven, his new focus. He’d moved to Rose’s room with his bundle of blankets the kid yet again had packed him in to cover his glow. Honestly, the half Diamond wanted to spend the entire night close to his younger counterpart, but he’d moved here for different reasons than before.

Star realised he needed to _know_ what to do when he was here, if he wanted to protect Steven the best.

The corrupted monsters he could fight, but there was currently one thing he didn’t have a full gauge on: the gems, his family.

He had no idea what they thought of him now or what they might be doing behind his back. And if there was one thing Star needed, it was to have control.

“Room, show me where the gems are,” the half Diamond commanded.

A tube appeared, likely leading down to the burning room as most tubes in the temple did.

He remembered how his Steven used it to slide down in the past, but now he simply floated down alongside it, following the path it was descending to. Once he heard the gems' voices, he stopped, standing in mid-air with his goodnight blankets wrapped around.

\--- ★ ---

The three of them were gathered in the burning room to discuss the quite pink elephant in the room.

“Pinkster has to be Steven, right? There is no way he's some kind of creepy imposter?”

“He's got the gem and Rose's defensive powers, and he has proven to know about Earth in ways a Homeworld gem wouldn't,” Garnet answered.

They had all done what Garnet had suggested in their meeting yesterday, sit back and watch. She had trusted her future vision that their pink visitor wouldn’t pose a threat to either of them or Steven… as far as she could see that is.

None of the gems had any malicious suspicions of him as of now but...

“But obviously something happened to him,” the Quartz voiced what they were all thinking. “Just, seeing him so stiff, his lack of expression. His dead eyes, man! That’s just not how Steven is!”

“You don’t think Homeworld…” Pearl didn’t finish her sentence. She didn’t need to, everyone knew what she was implying.

The room was tense. None of them wanted to think of Homeworld anymore—that was a war long fought, long gone.

Pearl didn’t want to believe it herself, but... they were running out of possible leads and well… What else could affect a gem so much?

Garnet cut through the silence. “Remember, these are all speculations, we can't get ahead of ourselves now. We still don't know what happened to Star.”

“Hmm, he’d only revealed it was something bad, but nothing further...”

“Grragh, I’m just so mad sitting here not knowing to do or expect, when something's definitely coming!” Amethyst vented her frustrations. “And the worst part is, he doesn’t wanna tell _us_! He doesn’t trust us!”

Garnet, being the leader she was, had to quell the other. “Knowing about the future can be a heavy load,” she spoke from experience. “Star told us he was afraid. And I’m afraid that he doesn’t trust how that information would impact us.”

Amethyst didn’t look happy with the answer but didn’t bite back. There was again a heavy silence, each gem stewing over their own thoughts.

“For now we’ll just observe and gather as much info as we can. Confronting him,” the square gem adjusted her visor, “does not lead to the best results as far as I can see.”

\--- ★ ---

Pearl exited out of the temple after their little meeting. She had planned to watch over Steven all night as she always does, only to stop at the pile of blankets standing in the middle of the living room.

“Star?”

It was indeed him when he moved the cover from his face. She also heard Steven’s snoring from on top.

“So...” she hesitated asking, “is this how you spend your night?”

He was yet again engaging in his relentless staring, even stiffer than any serving Homeworld gem waiting for an order. It didn’t help dwelling in these thoughts of what must’ve happened to him, but she couldn’t help it. The pink gem was void of everything that made him Steven, his bouncy personality, his humanity.

The Diamonds couldn’t have somehow… taken that away, could they? Just like they had taken away the forms and minds of her fellow rebels—the corrupted gems... And there was Pink’s previous Pearl, now all white...

“Come rest on the couch,” Pearl offered. “It's, ermmm, not good for your legs to stand all night.”

She had a feeling he could stand all night without trouble, but the thought of him standing dead still… She'd at least wanted to treat him like the human he once was.

He obliged, moving to lay in a more regular resting position, shuffling around with his covers. With his new position, the pale gem noticed something.

“Is that a plush bear?” Star did seem to be keeping some sort of stuffed animal with him in his blanket bed.

“Mr. Hugs,” he said, “Steven gave him to me so I wouldn't be feeling lonely when not sleeping."

Of course Steven would give him a plushie, Pearl mentally smiled. The hybrid had his own way of showing his thoughtfulness.

Star’s eyes were still wide open and the pale gem couldn’t help but ask.

“Why aren't you…” _no that would be too direct—_

“Nightmares. That's why I don't sleep.”

Oh, he answered her unfinished question. _Nightmares…_ Of all the reasons, she didn’t expect one that was so… ordinary and yet vulnerable. It made her think back to what Garnet said, that Star was afraid.

He had shown how capable he was with his powers and yet Star seemed so small now.

With his plushie at hand, his blanket cocoon, him being afraid to sleep because of nightmares...

It almost made her want to give a sad laugh because...

This was still Steven.

The pink gem didn’t comment as Pearl sat at the other end of the sofa, spending the night watching over both Stevens. She wondered if she in the future had failed to protect him.

She briefly craned her neck to look up at the lone painting of Rose.

What would she think of her now, knowing that?

\--- ★✰★✰★ ---

[Art of Star wrapped around his night blanket]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m glad to hear people also like the art! I did mention in a comment that I also have quite a few sketches made related to this au, though I'm a bit shy about posting those since they are just pencil sketches and not colored ^^


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